This dude I know from Liverpool is thinking about renting a place in France.

“Cool beans!” I say. I have a couple ideas.
I keep seeing these ads on the interwebs, and I told him that we could get one of those mail-order bride Slav chicks dirt-cheap and we could timeshare…

I painted this…nah, I’m lying like a mutherfucker…I have no ide who painted this

Roses are red and violets are some other color…

I walked out into a cold dark night
Street windows etched with chill
The shudder of a homeless man raked my bones
He was huddled in rags and his feet were bleeding sorrow
Yonder is Ye Old Tavern, you desperate soul
Not far, I said…

I stole this image from one of you other Medium idiots who stole it from someone else. Don’t like it? Sue me.

This is the best short story I’ve ever read. It was made into a movie that no one watched, and I’m probably the only idiot promoting this tale. I’ve posted links to this on every writing platform I’m on. I know I’m getting paid for this…

Vidar Nordli-Mathisen

His brains rattled in his head as he walked about or committed himself to vigorous chores.

Years earlier, as an infant, he’d slipped from his mother’s warm embrace and was dropped straight onto his head. There had been a grievous clop when the wee lad’s head struck the cobbles; one…

I stole this pic from the interweb. The painter and his family are long-dead. Fuck off, I don’t have to pay you shit. *pic unrelated to the story*

Should I change it?

I think I look like a fucking moron in the pic I’ve chosen. But still, some of the texts I receive from my family are headed with dragon images and dogs and cats. What the fuck is it with all the dragons and cats? Are they…

I’m new and improved. I’ve run plum out of give-a-fuck.

When I read one of your poems or stories that are complete shit, I’m going to tell you it’s complete shit. I expect you to do the same for me.

No more kid gloves, if you write shit, I’ll tell…


Where do the commas go?

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